Chicagoland Handicaps

Jimmie Johnson- Johnson has done very well here (where ever here is) with a third and fourth place finish in his two Cup starts at Chicago, er Joliet. He also won his only career Busch race at Chicago in 2001, but most people thought it was some kind of a fluke because Johnson wasn't that good a driver. Live and learn.

Dale Earnhardt Jr.- Junior wrecked hard at Joliet, er Chicago-Land, last year and finished 38th. (There's no substance to the rumor he was attempting to avoid a drunken Muppet that ran across the track when the wreck occurred.) Prior to that he'd finished eleventh and tenth in his two other Cup starts at this track.

Jeff Gordon- Gordon was the runner up somewhere in Illinois in 2002 and finished fourth here last year. Perhaps because he has so few mountains left to climb Gordon always seems to put a special emphasis on winning at a track where he hasn't scored a victory and this is one of those medium-rare tracks.

Tony Stewart- Last year Tony Stewart allegedly finished second here after starting on the pole. NASCAR is investigating allegations that Stewart also finished third here in 2002 but since there is no in-car video to support the allegation this is inconclusive. Stewart is also said to have once punched a Muppet for laughing at him. NASCAR is also studying videotapes to see if Stewart kicked over a lantern in Mrs. O'Leary's barn in 1871 to increase business for the local Home Depot.

Matt Kenseth- In three Cup starts in the vicinity of the Windy City Kenseth has never finished better than seventh but nor has he ever finished worse than fourteenth.

Bobby Labonte- Labonte has finished 39th, eighteenth and 36th here in three Cup starts. That cow just won't hunt.

Kurt Busch- Busch had top 10 finishes in his first two Cup starts here but blew and engine and finished 39th here last year. He then screamed at Jack Roush and hurried off to a Jimmy Spencer Fan Club meeting.

Elliott Sadler- Sadler finished ninth here last year to score his first top 10 at this track in three attempts.

Ryan Newman- Newman won here last year and finished fifth at Joliet-Land in 2002 even after a rough night of Cow-Tipping with his Hoosier buddies prior to the race.

Kevin Harvick- Harvick won the first two Illinois-Land races and led a bunch of laps last year before finishing seventeenth after running out of gas. To add insult to injury he and the team then lost 25 points for a tricked up rear suspension.

Kasey Kahne- In his two Busch starts here Kahne finished 25th and 28th. Ouch. Maybe if he ran the cop suspension and the cop tires?

Jeremy Mayfield- After two rough runs here, Mayfield scored a top 10 (tenth) in last year's Midwest-Land Speedway race.

Jamie McMurray- McMurray finished eighth here last year in his sole Cup start at this alleged track.

Mark Martin- Martin has never finished better than sixth here but nor has he ever finished worse than fourteenth at the “Everybody Knows This is Nowhere-Land” Speedway.

Dale Jarrett- Jarrett finished fourth here in 2001 and eleventh in 2002 despite running one of the Muppet Cars. Last year though Jarrett could only manage a 30th place finish.

Casey Mears- Mears won the pole for last year's Joliet Busch race and finished fourth in that event. But he crashed out of the next day's Cup race and finished 34th.

Rusty Wallace- Chicago-World hasn't been good to Wallace who has two finishes of 25th or worse here and has never led a lap. Is Elwood available as a fill-in driver?

Michael Waltrip – Waltrip finished fifth here last year, but his other two Cup finishes were outside the top 20.

Brian Vickers – Vickers finished third in last year's Busch race one spot ahead of Casey Mears. So I guess Casey is dandy, but Vickers is quicker.

Sterling Marlin- Marlin has never led a lap here, but he did finish ninth in the Inaugural Cow Town 400.

Related Topics:

NASCAR Sprint Cup, 2004

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