Sinkin To New Lowes
October 15, 2001 | 12:00 A.M. EST
No, it ain’t messed our schedule up as much as NASCAR’s schedule is messed up… but then, is anything messed up as much as NASCAR’s schedule is messed up?
In fact, the rainout on Sundee got me to wonderin’… if it rained Mondee too, and the Martinsville race were unable to be held, would NASCAR reschedule it fer the day after the banquet, the day after Christmas, or perhaps quick throw up some lights and hold it New Year’s Eve?
Here’s some other stuff I been seein’ or thinkin’ about…
*I see that Kansas Speedway – despite what’s goin’ on in the world - is still callin’ itself “The Track That Will Blow You Away.” Um, somebody over yonder please figure out that’s in about as bad taste as ya can get, will ya?
*What’s worse… ISC buildin’ all these 1.5-mile tracks that ever’body is sick of, or folks like Allen Bestwick on television makin’ excuses fer ISC buildin’ all these 1.5-mile tracks?
They say, “These tracks was planned five years ago and based on the best tracks out there!” Well, ya know what, they shoulda realized five years ago that all these dern tracks was gonna be the same. It ain’t that the tracks are bad, it’s the fact that they’s all the same that folks hate.
And to the other point, about’m bein’ based on the best tracks out there. Ya tellin’ me Bristol weren’t the most popular track on the circuit five years ago? Hogwash.
Face it, and stop coverin’ fer ISC or NASCAR just cuz you pay’m a ton of money for the right to sit in that booth… they built them speedways the way they is cuz they make a ton more money than a Richmond or a New Hampshire or even a Bristol.
If ya think fer one dern second that if Richmond made more money than Charlotte that we wouldn’t be seein’ Richmond-type tracks poppin’ up ever’where, you’re just plain silly.
*And another thing. Call the tracks by their names. NBC not callin’ Lowe’s Motor Speedway by its name tells ya just how concerned NBC is with callin’ it like it is.
Ya know what, NBC ain’t payin’ me to mention them by name either, so from here on out, why don’t ever’body that writes about television – motorsports or not – start callin’ them “Some Network.”
In fact, Bill France ain’t payin’ them, Jeff Gordon ain’t payin’ them, hmmmm. Pretty soon, here’s how the announcin’ will be on NBC… "Folks, welcome the THE race, held at THE track, where SOME guy won last year drivin’ for SOME team. He’s been a champion in SOME series three times drivin’ his SOMETHING-sponsored SOMETHING owned by SOME other feller. Now a word from the Coke Racing Family.”
If “Some Network” wants to be taken seriously – which I don’t think it does at this point – it’ll remember it's supposedly there to report on the sport, not be a three-hour advertisement. It’s just plain sorry.
*They was holdin’ this Late Model race up yonder in Martinsville and had somethin’ like 125 cars tryin’ to make 42 spots. Can y’all remember when NASCAR used to have to send more than two or three folks home after failin’ ta make a race?
*I was watchin’ some racin’ show – they’s all the same it seems now, so the name is kinda unimportant – and I seen Jason Leffler and Tony Glover walkin’ and talkin’. As both seem to be under 5-feet tall, it kinda looked like a coupla Keebler elves headin’ fer some cookies.
I ain’t makin' fun of short folks – I ain’t exactly a big’n height-wise myself – it just got me to thinkin’ about how Leffler can see over the steerin’ wheel and whether he needs them special peddles that come up way high off the floor.
What if’n he needed a relief driver? Hmmm
*Y’all reckon Jeff Green is just about fit to be tied or what? He's done run his tail off in the Busch Series and it seems like ever’dern week he’s either bumpin’ into somebody or somebody is bumpin’ into him in a way that costs him a win.
Hardest part fer him is prolly watchin’ Harvick – whose head is so dern big now I’m surprised it fits in a helmet – inch closer to that title.
*Coupla RacingOne boys up yonder in Martinsville told me you can get two hot dogs – all the way (meanin' chili and slaw included) and a Coke fer $5 at the concession stand. Good to see some folks still realize fans are fer pleasin’, not squeezin’.
I’ll talk at y’all next week… I reckon.