Top 10 Duh-Huhs

Shore was nice to get back to a normal weekend of sleepin’, racin’, sleepin’, yard upkeepin’, sleepin’, playin’ with the youngins’ and sleepin’… weren’t it?

Only problem was, folks in and around racin’ seem to be a bit more dopey lately, ain’t they?

As me and my buddy from the barbershop – goes by the name of Fudd – watched this here weekend’s race at Dover, he and I made up a list of 10 really dopey things we seen, heard or was thinkin’ about the past coupla weeks… and here they is.

(Oh, one last thingy. We come up with 17 dopey things just from Bill France’s boys down at NASCAR, so we had to throw some of them out just to include somebody else).

10. - Benny Parsons, our racin' expert on tv, kept tellin' us there ain't no way you can spin at Dover and not hit the walls. Then we see it happen in the Busch race, and no fewer than three times in the Cup race. "It was a dern miracle yesterday." Then, "It's a dern miracle today." Then, "Oops, it's a dern miracle... again today." Then, "Hey, whattya know, another dern miracle today...."

9. - Ya got a race named after Cal Ripken Jr., but there ain’t one named fer Dale Earnhardt? Richard Petty? Fireball Roberts? Makes sense to ever’body except… well… ever’body.

8. - NASCAR waits on the NFL decision – when teams is actually already headed to the track last week - before makin’ its call on whether they’s gonna race or not. Somebody send me the NFL office number please, I need them to tell me what NASCAR's gonna do if one of the remainin' Cup races is rained out. How about the day after Christmas... maybe in a strategic spot like the North Pole?

7. - How in tarnation can NASCAR allow seven drivers that qualified more than 10 mph slower than the pole speed into the Busch race? Folks, one feller this weekend was 22 mph slower! If ya can’t get but 30 cars fast enough to race, run 30 of’m, ok?

6. - Y’all over yonder at the No. 4 team wanna let Kevin Lepage go, that’s fine… but don’t fer a minute figure the drivers (Bobby Hamilton, then Robby Gordon, then Lepage) is the problem. If ya do… well, a big duh-huh to y’all.

5. - What in the world is up with all these dern stories about Texas Motor Speedway offerin’ New Hampshire a place to run its race in November? TMS tryin’ to squeeze in a date from somebody else is somethin’ new? Good golly, folks write a story ever’time TMS makes a call to try to get some other track’s dates and that’s all we’d be readin’. Just another case of Bruton and the boys playin’ them mainstream media folks like a fiddle to get more publicity and highlight the fact they still only got one date.

4. - You mean to tell me companies like Budweiser and DuPont either ain’t got the cash or sense to dress up their hoods or side panels with a big ol’ American flag at Dover? Hat’s off to folks like the M&M’s team fer showin’ pride like they done, and a big duh-huh boo to y’all that decided beer sales or whatever was more important and the rear-deck lid was the prime spot to show our flag.

3. - Not allowin’ coolers into the track is just plain silly – and unfortunately another way fer ISC/NASCAR (it’s the same thing ya know) to reach into our pockets. I ain’t wantin’ unchecked coolers in races right now either, but is it impossible to have lines goin’ in fer cooler checks and other lines goin’ in fer folks without’m? Of course not. Can you think of one person goin’ in who wouldn’t WANT the coolers checked right now? Hats off to Lowe's Motor Speedway - not an ISC/NASCAR track, of course - which will allow coolers to its October events.

2. - We all understand it must be tough fer ol’ Rusty to realize Ryan Newman is now the most important feller in Penske Racin’, but bootin’ the leader of the race after he laps ya – especially since he’s in a title chase – is about as low as ya can go. “Rubberhead” is close, but a little more tame than what just about ever’body else is callin’ him right now.

1. - At first I thought it was a joke, but apparently it ain’t. Folks, they really do plan on racin’ in New Hampshire on Thanksgivin’ weekend. Family sport my fanny.

The fans ain’t happy about it and the drivers ain’t happy about it, but it’s happenin’ anyway. With all that's goin' on in the world, it ain't no thing, right? Right... but bangin' my head with a hammer ain't that big of a deal in comparison neither and I still got enough sense not to do that.

The reason NASCAR is stickin’ with its decision despite everyone in the dern world disagreein’ with it - except those we've come to expect not to disagree with it, of course - is because “we had to make a decision and we’re sticking to it.”

Well, with a good reason like that, of course you’d go on with it.

What that reason means is, "we scheduled to many dern weekends in a row, and now realize we're either gonna screw the folks in N.H., or screw the fans and teams. We choose the fans and teams to be the ones we screw because, well, that's what we're stickin' to."

Wouldn’t it be somethin’ if the drivers decisions – like bein’ with their families at home on Thangsgivin’ weekend – were somethin’ they could “stick to?”

Oh yeh, NASCAR also said one of the reasons it's goin' on with this nonsense is cuz the NFL is goin' on with its entire season.

On second thought, now, I still ain’t sure NASCAR is gonna go ahead with this Snow-Tire and Shovel 400 in November. Afterall, we ain’t got word from the NFL offices yet whether it’s OK with them for NASCAR to run that final race or not.

I’ll talk at y’all next week… I reckon.

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