Give Them A HANS

Howdy Y’all.

I ain’t got no time to waste on some clever little introduction this here week, cuz I waited ‘til the last minute to write this dern thing (1 a.m. Tuesday mornin’).

It really weren’t my fault, cuz I did plan on workin’ on this thing all day Monday, but the well at my homestead done froze up and that calls for a good bit of work sometimes.

Anywho, here goes…

*We got us a new president now, and I reckon the first thing that feller oughta do is make a law about racing profilin’. No, I don’t mean racial profilin’, I mean what I say… racing profilin’. Ya see, in Virginia they’s comin’ out with license plates that feature car numbers, colors and signatures of NASCAR drivers. That’s downright cool, except what if a police officer happens to be a big ol’ Earnhardt fan and he’s comin’ up behind a car with a Gordon licence plate? I mean come on, you ever met an Earnhardt fan who wouldn’t go outta his way to cause a little pain to a Gordon fan (or vicee versee)?

*Oh, while on that subject, you ain’t gonna see the word NASCAR on them plates anywheres, and I’ll bet you can guess why?….. Yep, NASCAR would make the state pay a licensing fee to do such. I can’t help but laugh.

*I seen that Dale Earnhardt Jr. had him a dream about winnin’ the Daytona 500. You reckon he had the dream after a late night of partyin’, or he already got him the script for the race?

*Got me a whole bunch of mail concernin’ the HANS (head-and-neck restrainin’ thingy) device this weekend. I read on RacingOne last week – and then some other places a few days later - that Jeff Burton is really pushin’ for folks to use this thing and that some others – including Mark Martin – ain’t ready to use it just yet cuz it ain’t comfortable. Look, if Matt Kenseth can use it without any problems, and them open-wheel fellers can all use it without any problems, you tellin’ me it won’t work cuz it’s uncomfortable for some folks? Please. Worse than that, it shouldn’t be up to the drivers anyway. Drivers ain’t got no choice about usin’ roll cages, firesuits, havin’ extinguishers in the cars, etc., cuz them things save lives. Any of y’all wonder if Adam Petty, Tony Roper or Kenny Irwin would have survived had they been wearin’ the HANS device last year? I don’t know that anybody knows that answer, but where ya reckon comfort level and driver freedom ranks against havin’ one or more of them fellers back?

*On that same deal, anybody reckon it’s odd that the HANS device or somethin’ like it ain’t mandatory at this point, but names on the back of crew members uniforms is?

*On that same deal, sure wish NASCAR would mandate names on the back of the truck drivers uniforms. I mean, who y’all pullin’ for this year in trucks… Travis Kvapil, Matt Crafton, Nathan Buttke, Mark Petty, Billy Bigley, Donnie Neuenburger, Jason Small, Ricky Sanders, Brian Stockwell, Tate Bosworth? I ain’t makin’ these names up folks, these is drivers that was testin’ at Daytona last week… really.

*How many Cup teams we got without primary sponsorship now that we’s just about on top of Speedweeks? Around 13 or 14. Geez.

*I seen that Larry McReynolds, John Andretti, Ricky Rudd, Steve Grissom, Jeff Burton and Ricky Craven went to some school to talk about opportunities in racin’ last week. Dale Earnhardt was scheduled to be there, but… well… (surprise)… he had to cancel at the last minute.

Next week, I’m gonna tell you, without a doubt (through a scienteriffic study) who is gonna win the Dayton’r 500.

I’ll talk at y’all next week… I reckon.

I shore do like talkin’ with y’all, so please send any questions or comments ya have about racin’ or my columns to I promise to answer’m all.

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Monster Energy NASCAR Cup, 2001

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