Hittin The Highlights

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Plates, plates, plates… My wife wanted some fancy ones fer gettin’ married, my dad has one in his head from a huntin’ accident, and just about every dern person associated with NASCAR in any shape or form has been jawin’ about’m the past few days.

Well, here’s my take on plates and some other stuff I seen/heard/was thinkin’…

*Ain’t nobody believes restrictor plates at Loudon is smart, but it’s a step. NASCAR is tryin’, the drivers is tryin’, the owners/crews/tracks is tryin’. It ain’t gonna be fixed in a day… so ever’body take a breath and do some prayin’ no other tragedies happen in the meantime.

*I’ll be derned if I’m gonna take some of the comments that been flyin’ outta Jack Roush’s mouth lately. The man actually blames all this restrictor-plate stuff on the media, and even took good ol’ Dave Marcis to task about speakin’ his mind.
“Dave is pretty much a loose cannon on and off the track,” Roush said. “I don’t know if he’ll be in the event (at Richmond). We’ll likely have a better event if he’s not here based on the way he’s been running into people lately.”
First – The media gettin’ fired up about kids gettin’ killed on race tracks is a good thing Jack. I’m guessin’ the hat might be on a little tight or somethin’ if you can’t see that.
Second – Spoutin’ off about another driver like that? Shame. Tell ya what, Dave Marcis ain’t spent a trillion dollars in the sport (nor had 5 cars racin’ at the same time), yet he’s got the same amount of titles as ol’ Jack. Hmmm.

*Ah heck, while I’m on that subject… Y’all notice that even with two caution periods that bunched up the field, the No. 97 Roush car was gettin’ lapped by the No. 99 Roush car inside of 100 laps at Richmond? Got some favorites on that team or what Jack? Can’t imagine why Chad Little, Kevin Lepage and Johnny Benson wanted the heck out so bad, can you?

*Hot Damn!!!… That’s what I was hollerin’ when Rick Carelli won that truck race at Richmond. That feller has earned every bit of success he gets, and I ain’t pulled for nobody any harder since my prize pig Oinky won the Valdosta County Fair Shakin’-that-Bacon dash in 1982.

*I love them races under the lights… don’t y’all? Best thing is when them fuel pump thingys get knocked around in a wreck and fire is flyin’ ever’which way. Don’t want nobody to get hurt, of course, but it shore is excitin’.

*Ray Evernham is back and them Cup boys is scared, ya know they is. Lemme see, what happened the last time he got some young kid to jump in one of his cars? Yikes.

*At Richmond, John Andretti hit Geoffrey Bodine. Then he hit Brett Bodine. Word has it that after the race, leavin’ the parking lot, the Andretti motor home slammed smack into the back of Todd Bodine’s Pinto.

*Speakin’ of Bodines. Brett, my man, stay clear of Jimmy Spencer for a week, will ya? If that feller decides he’s angry, your sponsor might as well be Goldman’s Funeral Home.

*The Busch boys and truck fellers ain’t racin’ this week. Lookin’ at rows and rows of empty seats for their events at Richmond – which ain’t exactly a huge facility – I wonder if’n anybody is gonna notice.

*Let’s get the dern Senior Racin’ Tour started, awright? Wouldn’t y’all pay a few bucks to see Yarborough, Pearson, Baker and the like run some 100-milers about 5 times a year? It’d be a thrill, but it’d also be a good reason to get rid of that silly IROC stuff.

*Y’all see how good Bill Elliott done with a broken kneecap last weekend? I figure if’n he trips over a garden hose and breaks the other one, he just might actually win a race.

*The question I get more than any other is, “Burrhead, what do you look like?” Folks, remember Elvis when he put on about 100-to-many pounds? Well, it ain’t far from that. I done broke two cameras, so we’re gonna try to do a drawin’ of me for the site real soon… I promise.

*I reckon five drivers went through the entire Cup race this weekend without havin’ a “cut” tire of some shape or form. Them boys still runnin’ Goodyears, or did Firestone get into the action?

*In Cup racin’ history, there’s been drivers with these last names…. Ford, Carter, Ragan (close enough), Bush and Clinton. Ya might be interested to know (for non-bettin’ purposes, of course) that there was a feller named Gore, too.

*Darlin’ton announced the trucks is racin’ there in 2001. Ooooooh doggy. Them boys can’t run a straight line without beatin’ and a bangin’, I can’t imagine there’s gonna be any white left on them walls when that sucker is over.

*Wreck O’The Week: Another tight battle, but y’all loved them in-car shots of Ron Hornaday’s car catchin’ fire so much that he gets the win. The replay of them flames shootin’ out the back of the car were so derned clear that I sent the wife to the kitchen fer some marshmallows to roast.

*I don’t print many jokes that y’all send in (keep on sendin’m, though) cuz some is just nastyfied. But for some reason, I like this one. Here goes… Y’all know why Dale Earnhardt went to work at the electric company?
He figured it’s about the only way he’d ever have a chance to sit on a pole.

See y'all next week... I reckon.
Burrhead

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Monster Energy NASCAR Cup, 2000

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